Change is difficult for everyone. It is human nature to want to keep things the same. There are little voices in your head telling you that change is not necessary. There may be other voices than these little grumbler voices. These are people around you who want to keep the status quo. Perhaps your spouse doesn’t want you to lose weight and then gain it back, as you have done in the past. They might be upset by the sadness and disappointment you feel when this happens. They might also like chocolate cake at home. Your best friend might enjoy having a binge-buddy, or someone who loves to eat as much and fears losing that companionship.
Let’s understand it
Two women stood in front of me as I waited to be seated at a restaurant. One of the women approached me and said, “Let us decide now, are you dieting today?” Evidently, regardless of what they decided, they preferred to follow the same approach to lunch than following their own needs. Your sister might like to control others. Watching other people eat out is what she gets her jollies. This dynamic is common in relationships where one person is thin and addicted to dieting, while the other person is overweight.
The way the thin person keeps motivated is to force food on others and feel good about it. This person brings elaborate, high-calorie dishes to the potluck and then eats a lot of food. It doesn’t matter what relationship you have, there are likely to be some issues with your relationship if you try to change your eating habits or lifestyle.
Questions
- Are you willing to throw away your efforts if they aren’t met with enthusiasm from friends and family? I can’t count how many times I’ve heard people say, “I was doing fine until Susi came up with donuts.” Remember that Susi can’t control the path from your hand to your mouth. You are responsible for that.
- Are you able to detect subtle sabotage? Subtle sabotage can often appear just as your weight loss begins to show, usually around the 10 pound mark. A friend takes you shopping and suddenly she wants to go to the cookie shack. Your mother keeps passing plates of food to you at every family dinner. Your wife reneges on a promise to go to the gym but she says something vaguely like, “I just don’t feel like it.” Your weight loss may be visible. Be aware. These people may have an investment in your weight. It’s like the potluck dancer who doesn’t eat. They may feel worse about themselves if they are overweight. They may feel unhappy about their weight and feel powerless or helpless to change it. You don’t have to be miserable if you love company.
- Are you strong enough for group situations? You are having dinner with friends. Everyone orders burgers and cheese fries. Are you able to focus enough to order grilled chicken or vegetables? Are you feeling out of place? You will encounter group situations at work, as well as with your family and friends. These situations can be difficult to handle.
What to do?
Start by not following the crowd that is more sympathetic (or holds you in higher esteem). group. Look for subtle saboteurs here too. You might be chided by a coworker, who may ask you “Are your dieting again?” There’s the friend who looks at your plate with a stern expression and doesn’t say a thing but is a coworker. All relationship issues that are related to food and eating will eventually come up. You will have to deal. These are the issues I coach my clients. It’s simple, really. Do you really have much in common with a friend if you only have one thing in common: you enjoy eating together? This is a common problem for shopaholics.
Their shopping buddies disappear if they have a change of income and are unable to shop for a while. There wasn’t much support or deep connection. Although you may not be able to control the reactions of others to your personal changes, it is possible to influence their reactions. You can still support yourself. Be honest and open about what you are trying to achieve. No matter what, stay motivated. Negative vibes should never be taken in by anyone. Always keep your goals in sight. Be strong! The more you work at changing your negative habits, the greater your chances of success. It takes persistence to succeed.
Keep it!
Individuals when undertaking to diet desire to lose weight and start to see the results rapidly but most of all desire to maintain their pounds after their objective is reached. How frequently have we seen folks, be they acquaintances, close friends or ourselves lose weight appear and feel better after several weeks of hard work and then be back where we were only available in a another year. How come this happen? Sometimes we shed weight to appease a member of family, friend or even to look great at a particular occasion. We follow all sorts of diets, scale back on carbohydrates, breads, glucose and everything we want to accomplish our desired objective.
But what happens directly after we reach our objective and some months later we are near be back again where we were whenever we started? This is what happens as seen often with good close friends. It noises and feels reassuring. After they are in a diet plan they prescribe to and are usually pleased with the early results each goes full bore and seldom stray from their new program. For the reason that they have a goal they desire to or must achieve. Should they visually see their brand-new self in their goal via an old image of themselves or one from the periodical that’s like what they really want to discover in themselves it offers them a renewed incentive.
Real Goals
In the event that you just say I would like to lose twenty pounds, scale back and starve yourself and perform without certain foods the fat comes off but dates back on as rapidly as you binge on junk food when hungry. But when you’ve got a goal, view it and visualize it and understand the incentives involved, you generally achieve it. The major cause you have accomplished everything you set out to end up being is basically because you have a objective you focused on and may see the benefits you’ll derive both socially and perhaps economically. You followed a recommended program in order to accomplish it. But once you made your bodyweight reduction and enjoyed the huge benefits the weightloss program you spiraled back again to your outdated self.
Why? The reason a lot of us put the fat back on is basically because apart from medical reasons, we completed our objective, proved to ourselves, friends company associates that we could perform it but after all of the hoorays and back patting had been over and we didn’t have anything to displace it with. We then returned to our old diet plan. So how do we keep our dedication after our original objective is achieved? We are in need of a sustainable plan set up to greatly help and guide us in to the upcoming, and without one we shall fail in many cases.
